💞 Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Building Stronger Relationships Through Science & Connection
At Mara’s Lighthouse, we believe every relationship has the potential to thrive when care, understanding, and communication are nurtured intentionally. The Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach to couples therapy that helps partners strengthen their bond, manage conflict effectively, and build a shared sense of meaning and purpose.
Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method is grounded in over 40 years of research studying thousands of couples. It provides practical tools and insights that help couples improve friendship, deepen intimacy, and transform conflict into opportunities for growth.
❤️ What Is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method integrates decades of scientific observation with compassionate, relationship-centered care. It focuses on three core areas:
Building friendship and intimacy
Managing conflict in healthy, constructive ways
Creating shared meaning and purpose in the relationship
At the heart of this approach is the idea that thriving relationships aren’t free from conflict — they’re built on mutual respect, trust, and emotional connection that allow couples to handle life’s challenges together.
⚠️ The “Four Horsemen” of Relationship Breakdown
Through his research, Dr. John Gottman identified four interaction patterns that can predict the breakdown of relationships — known as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Recognizing and addressing these behaviors is a foundational step in the Gottman Method.
Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific behaviors.
Defensiveness: Responding to conflict with counterattacks or denial instead of accountability.
Stonewalling: Withdrawing or shutting down emotionally rather than engaging in conversation.
Contempt: Expressing disrespect, sarcasm, or superiority — the most damaging behavior to relationship stability.
Gottman-trained therapists help couples recognize these destructive patterns and replace them with empathy, curiosity, and healthy communication.
🌿 The Seven Principles for Making Relationships Work
The Gottman Method is built on seven core principles that guide couples toward greater connection and understanding.
Build Love Maps — Develop a deep awareness of your partner’s inner world: their thoughts, feelings, goals, and experiences.
Express Fondness and Admiration — Regularly show appreciation, affection, and respect for one another.
Turn Toward One Another — Respond to bids for attention and affection, strengthening emotional connection in small everyday moments.
Accept Influence — Practice compromise and mutual respect by valuing each other’s opinions and needs.
Solve Problems That Are Solvable — Use healthy communication and repair attempts to navigate disagreements constructively.
Manage Conflict and Overcome Gridlock — Learn to manage recurring conflicts rather than trying to eliminate them.
Create Shared Meaning — Build a shared narrative of your relationship, including rituals, goals, and values that bring deeper connection and purpose.
These principles are designed to help couples rebuild trust and intimacy, even in relationships that feel distant or disconnected.
💬 How Therapy Works
In Gottman Method Couples Therapy at Mara’s Lighthouse, partners meet with a trained therapist who tailors sessions to the couple’s unique dynamics.
Sessions typically include:
Assessment: Understanding each partner’s perspective and identifying strengths and challenges.
Skill-Building: Learning practical tools to communicate more effectively, manage conflict, and reconnect emotionally.
Ongoing Support: Working collaboratively to maintain progress and reinforce positive patterns.
Therapy may include structured exercises, guided dialogue, and reflective discussions designed to help partners grow both individually and together.
🌈 When to Seek Gottman Method Therapy
This approach can be helpful for couples who are:
Struggling with communication or conflict.
Recovering from betrayal or emotional distance.
Seeking to deepen emotional and physical intimacy.
Preparing for marriage or major life transitions.
Hoping to strengthen an already healthy relationship.
Whether you’re in crisis or simply seeking to nurture a stronger bond, the Gottman Method offers actionable, research-backed guidance to help your relationship thrive.
💖 A Relationship Worth Investing In
Healthy relationships are built — not found. The Gottman Method helps couples rediscover empathy, trust, and joy in one another, turning challenges into opportunities for connection and growth.
At Mara’s Lighthouse, we’re here to guide you every step of the way — with care that’s compassionate, practical, and grounded in science.
👉 Schedule your couples session today and start building the relationship you both deserve.